Appreciating The Art of Homesickness (Discussion #2)

Location: Union Square, Aberdeen
Date: September 12th, 2018

        The inevitable questions will hit me when I return to the United States: How was Scotland? What was your most memorable experience? Did you make any friends? How does it compare to home? One question that tends to fall to the background is about being homesick. Being truly "away" from my home for the first time has forced me to understand what it's like to feel the loneliness as well as to figure out how to overcome it in a productive manner.

          First, I've had to come to terms with what it is. I've had the feeling since the moment I stepped onto foreign soil. Homesickness is a dark black dog that follows me around on a tight leash. No matter how much I feed it, it always lingers. It follows me when I explore the city but the crowds and laughter of my friends make me blind to it and sometimes I drop the leash. The dog will wander off but never truly leaves as it always finds me in my small room. The dog barks loudly when I got the call that my grandpa died and it chews on my wrist every time I try to text my friends back home. 

         Now that I have come to understand what it means to me, I have to ask myself: How can I control this? Understanding the feeling of loneliness and being away from home is important because it allows a person to be able to more aptly control the side effects, anxieties, and ultimately overcome the tumultuous emotions. For myself, I took the week to step back and see how I dealt with feeling anxious or depressed. What really hit me was the time difference between Aberdeen and Colorado. I couldn't just call my mom or Skype her any time I wanted. Waking up and wanting to talk meant that she was still asleep. This situation often resulted in sadness and spending more time alone in my room. In order to remedy this, I forced myself to go hang out in the kitchen where people filtered in and out. This gave me more people to talk to and more opportunities to make plans. By understanding the unhealthy habits that came out of feeling anxious and depressed, I was able to start working towards making my days more productive and less lonely. In turn, I hope that by doing this, I can strengthen and enliven my experience in Scotland instead of letting my longing for home take over.